This book review was written by Eugene Kernes
This book was provided by the author
“You did not want to cross my mother.
Unfortunately, your mere existence already aggravated her, so angering my
mother did not require much. It is a colossal understatement to say that my
mother detested any attempt to gain sympathy, especially from her –– my mother received
sympathy, she did not grant it.” – Kathleen Hoy Foley, Chapter 2,
Page- 12-13
“Every once in a while, though, a mysterious something
inside her gave way, an outburst of anger unrelated to an outwardly bland
circumstance. Those times she’d burn fierce and swift –– an instantaneous
eruption of molten fury. It meant big trouble for you if at that particular
moment you were on her wrong side, because you’d end up a pile of cinder before
you even knew what the hell happened. She wouldn’t tell you why, either. She’d
just cast her weighted pall over the entire household and withdraw into the
silent treatment that lasted as long as she damn well pleased.” – Kathleen Hoy
Foley, Chapter 5, Pages 19-20
“If Kathleen’s trying to get me to say I’m sorry, she’s
barking up the wrong tree. I don’t go in for apologizing. I don’t accept no
apologies either. Don’t come crying to me with I’m sorry. My line is, If
you’re sorry, you wouldn’t do it. I’m not apologizing for nothin’. You’re
not gonna get me to apologize. Kathleen’s not gonna get me to apologize. I
didn’t do nothin’.” – Kathleen Hoy Foley, Chapter 68, Page 157
Excerpts provided with permission from the author
Is This An Overview?
In life, Kathleen could not reconcile with Kathleen’s mother
Pat. After Pat passed away, they
could. This is a book on how a mother
and daughter are able to share their stories with each other, and through the
processes of sharing, find reconciliation.
By sharing their views on events, they are able to understand how each affected
the other’s life, how others experienced their actions and behaviors. Throughout their life, they saw primarily the
harm, the hardships inflicted on them by others. Through sharing their stories, they were able
to get to know each other and understand why they behaved the way they did. Understand why there were bursts of anger,
how they treated others when they were in pain, how emotional wounds affected
their behavior. Through sharing their
stories, they were able to be heard, to find worth, belonging, and
acceptance.
Caveats?
The writing quality is mixed. The path to reconciliation is emotional,
through sharing tragic stories. A reader
should be emotionally prepared. The
conversation that occurs is with someone who passed away. Pat’s responses and changes in thinking are
based on what Kathleen thinks they would be.
Although the honestly in responses and the changes are desired, its
uncertain if they would have happened while Pat lived. Reconciliation takes immense effort to hear
what another has to say.
